Happiness in a Digital World

I remember exactly where I was three months ago today– sitting on my suitcase, hiding behind a vending machine in Charles de Gaulle airport. I was leaving my parents behind in Lyon, France, along with my grandfather, who had recently been diagnosed with dementia. I was crying, and I wished I could think of someone to call. But it was the middle of the night in the States, and 8am in Paris. Despite being in one of the busiest airports in the world, I had never felt more alone.

You wouldn’t have known that, though, from my Instagram. Just days prior, I had posted colorful pictures taken while strolling through French gardens and sipping coffee outside of cathedrals. My friends had commented things like “take me with you next time,” and texted me about how jealous they were.

They had no idea how heartbreakingly sad that trip had been. How could they? I had carefully selected the few “aesthetic” moments from one of the worst times in my life. Taking pretty pictures and documenting the beautiful parts of my stay was certainly a form of coping, but it was also not an accurate depiction of my reality.

When I arrived home, I started physically unpacking my bags, and figuratively unpacking my feelings. Of course, I knew I was sad about my grandfather. But having to work through those emotions unlocked something else in me. I realized that there was more to the numbness inside of me than just the sadness I felt about my grandfather’s condition. Emotions, particularly negative ones, were not something I was used to dwelling on. But for the first time in my life, I had experienced a tragedy that could not be fixed with a positive attitude or by ignoring my feelings. Watching a family member slowly slip away into an unrecognizable person is not something one can ignore.

Up until October 2022, my sterile, emotionless mentality had done me well in life. I was an overachiever in every way. As a type-A person and a perfectionist, I saw emotions as inconveniences that prevented me from being productive. “I am a realist,” I always told myself, “I can’t let feelings overpower logic.”

I had graduated top of my class and won the Morehead-Cain scholarship with that mentality. I had powered through any fear or anxiety I might have felt before interviews without ever letting myself really feel anything. In college, I picked up double-majors and extra certificates without a second thought, because that was just what I conditioned myself to do.

I was obsessed with my personal life both seeming and being “perfect,” too. I was on the executive committee of my sorority. I had (and still have) an amazing boyfriend who I have dated since high school, and a supportive group of friends. I cognitively recognized that all of these things were good, and I knew how lucky I was in every way. However, despite knowing all of this, I felt as though I was functioning on autopilot, which, I have learned, tends to happen when you ignore all your emotional needs. Cognitively, I was happy. I knew I should be happy. But I didn’t feel happy in my soul. It is sad that it took such a tragic event in my life to teach me the importance of emotions, but I am so grateful that it did.

Fast forward a few months, and now I’m in my last semester at UNC, taking a class called “The Branding of Me,” taught by Hussman professor Gary Kayye. Our project this semester is to start a blog, and I will be doing mine on emotional health and happiness.

It might seem trivial or even self-indulgent to write about happiness. But as I have learned over the past few months, it is a conversation society must have. The General Social Survey has been surveying American happiness levels since 1972, and as of 2022, happiness levels were at an all-time low. Only 19% of Americans claimed that they were happy, while nearly ¼ stated that they were “not too happy.”

When I have spoken to others about the topic of happiness, and particularly other young people, I have been surprised by how many of them relate to me. Despite our beautiful Instagram feeds and LinkedIn pages filled with accomplishments, many high achievers seem to feel emotionally disconnected and empty.

There are countless factors at play that impact societal levels of happiness. I cannot help but notice, though, how interesting it is that this “happiness crisis” is taking place during a time in which the world is supposed to be more digitally connected than ever. So many of us spend so much time trying to make sure we check all the right boxes to have “perfect” lives, that we forget to check in with our real emotions.

I could write forever about happiness, and all I have learned about it. From visiting The Happiness Museum in Denmark to finding little things in my own life that bring me joy, it has been a major focus of my life for the past several months. I have learned that it is not enough to have a carefully curated Instagram or an impressive resume. It’s not enough to even be well-liked or well-loved by family and friends. Becoming truly happy involves listening to yourself and taking care of your emotional needs, not just mindlessly checking off the next item on the to-do list. It takes bravery and emotional vulnerability.

There are many ways to bring happiness into our daily lives, which will be the topic of this blog. Throughout the next four months, I will be exploring, researching, and testing ways to incorporate little bits of joy into daily life. Every week, I will interview someone new, and find out what they do to bring happiness into their lives. Then, I will research that topic, to see if there is scientific evidence to support their practices. Finally, I will pick one day of the week, and incorporate that practice into my own life.

I am so excited to get started, and I hope that you will follow along with me. If you do something every day to bring a little positivity into your life and would like to be featured in the blog, feel free to message me on LinkedIn or via the “Connect” page on my website. Weekly updates will be posted here, and on my LinkedIn.